New Year's Resolutions - Friend or Foe?

[00:00:00] Hey listeners and also hello to my frequent fliers, which is just the people who subscribe to my podcast and listen every week Thank you so much. I say this every time but literally every time I see someone downloads his podcast

[00:00:15] I'm so thrilled. So welcome to baggage claim. I'm your host Lauren Osborne and on this podcast we like to examine the contents of our own baggage and then pick what we want to check in and what souvenirs we're bringing with us. As we enter the new year

[00:00:35] I thought that we could talk on this episode with my beautiful and amazing and talented guest Bridget Stanley about New Year's resolutions. Are they friends or are they foes? Do you make them

[00:00:47] or do you not? And also we are giving just a highlight reel of the best things that happened to us in 2023. As always I appreciate you listening. I really hope you enjoyed this episode and I'll say it until it happens. Free Palestine till it's backwards. Enjoy!

[00:01:26] Hey listeners welcome to baggage claim. I'm your host Lauren Osborne and as we know on this podcast it's a place where everyone has baggage. It looks different for everyone. In each episode we examine

[00:01:43] the contents of our luggage, we decide what souvenirs we want to keep and what baggage we want to check. I have an amazing guest with me. I have recorded with her but you have not

[00:01:54] heard her and this time you will. I'm here with the beautiful Bridget. Hi thank you so much for having me. Bridget Stanley yeah Bridget Stanley. Sometimes people want it one on both sometimes

[00:02:06] people just want it solo how are you? I'm doing good I'm doing good I cannot believe we are vastly approaching 2024 so crazy. Yeah yeah I saw this meme or maybe it was a video

[00:02:21] or it was a TikTok I don't know which one it was but it was like people are talking about it's turning 2024 and I'm like I feel like I'm five years behind. I feel like part of my being is actually

[00:02:33] still in 2019 a little bit. I think there was like a time warp time changed and it's weird yeah because now I feel like either things are going running either time is flying by

[00:02:46] or I'm at a slower pace. It's something to that degree but I definitely resonate. I pause when I realize that we are 24 years into the millennium and it's so crazy to actually to think about that

[00:03:05] and being around for the 1999 you know everyone was fearful so it's so crazy. Yes it was like Y2K yeah like yeah and it's also frightening to be like well I lived in the 1900s.

[00:03:24] But we earned our stripes so late 1900s yes late late late the last 10 years of the 1900s I was alive the final one yeah well let's get into like our warm-up questions. I have my regular ones and

[00:03:39] I've already asked them but I did them in the housewife setting so I'm going to switch it up for you guys because Bridget is special. What for this week or you could say this month what was your

[00:03:51] rose and what was your thorn? Oh I have way more roses than thorns. The rose was I went to LA to take a dance class it was a 24 hour trip just solely what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it how I

[00:04:09] wanted to do it so I really enjoyed that and my thorn I can't really say I have a thorn which is probably really good but oh I guess my thorn was I didn't get to buy more holiday decor that

[00:04:27] I wanted to buy so that's probably it and that thorn could end up being a blessing in the sky yes because you have to like pack those things and bring them with you. You do and and what's so crazy I think

[00:04:43] Instagram has a big part of it but when you know we used to not buy new holiday decor yes and and you know so in a way it was like well you're used to recycling what you've already

[00:04:56] had but I think just seeing all the new cute stuff and not really putting that much effort into it that was probably the thorn for sure okay I feel like for this month my rose would be my freedom and

[00:05:13] leaving my corporate job in such a good healthy place and good turns not burning bridges. Bridget's still there and I made tunnels I think that was the rose and for my regular listeners you already

[00:05:28] know what my thorn is it's been the same thorn for three months and that is the war on Palestinians so that would be it understood okay let's do so I have these questions now right they're supposed

[00:05:39] to help bring in the conversation and I think they're a good warm-up right because I could say what disjointed looks like to you but I feel like you already told me but I think you told me

[00:05:49] in a house wife thing okay so what did joy look like uh um for me joy is really accepting life as it comes I think I have let go of so much worry once I realized that there was a plan for me and the

[00:06:10] path that I'm supposed to take is supposed to be that and I can't control others so joy is just really knowing that I don't have to do too much I think that's what it is it's very freeing for sure

[00:06:27] all right shall we pick a card sure or we get to tell each other our cards and tell the listeners if all your exes got together what's one complaint they all would agree on oh there's could be a

[00:06:38] couple but I think that they is a bad thing that I have what's one complaint yeah complaint I can throw tantrums and in those tantrums it's not like screaming slamming doors

[00:06:52] it's like I can kind of pick pick pick and my mom also said I also have a very sharp tongue and one thing that I've heard from two exes was God you can be kind of cool so that would be mine

[00:07:08] I think those that those would be it okay understood um if all my exes got together I think the complaints would be not tantrums but I have a very take it or leave it attitude

[00:07:27] which I think translates that I don't care and yeah I've left people on ice for a long time I have no problem with the silent treatment I have no problem leaving you on red blocking you

[00:07:43] not caring if you you know want to talk to me and that can be hard in a relationship so I think that that has been the complaint and sometimes I got left for it but hey

[00:07:58] I would be lying if I said that I haven't heard that a few times right see I love the honesty we're dropping where I'm loading here okay if a museum had an exhibit about you what items would they

[00:08:11] put on display on display on display on display um definitely puzzles I love doing jigsaw puzzles um so that would be there probably a picture of Beyonce and probably a tv or remote

[00:08:39] and maybe a little tequila I like that I think and my dog right I feel like on display for me there'd probably there'd definitely be like a tv I think there would be

[00:08:56] headphones because I'm a book on taper kind of person I love audiobooks there would definitely be something with glitter and portraits of my dog probably like some rain bracelets some blur bracelets for my youth and I don't know hopefully a pond or like a little

[00:09:19] koi fish pond I soothed myself what oh that's awesome well that's just a short little you know museum of me but you know right I never really thought like what all but yeah I have no idea

[00:09:32] but there's something pink for sure for sure that's my color random I don't know it'd probably be random yeah but yeah I'm all over the place there those are really great questions okay

[00:09:44] would you rather go to jail for a murder you never committed or kill someone and never got caught oh god um kill someone and never get caught yeah I mean I would have to deal with that on judgment

[00:09:57] day but I am totally fine with not being in jail yes I watch I listen to a lot of the innocence projects podcast absolutely not absolutely not would you have me in jail

[00:10:15] for a crime I didn't okay the final warm-up for icebreaker question how well would you get along with someone exactly like you um I think I'd get along okay we wouldn't be best friends mm-hmm because again I'm very moody and I can be a little distant nonchalant um

[00:10:37] but I do have this deep sense of communication needs to be from a place of understanding of curiosity so I think I would get along with someone like me but we wouldn't be best friends

[00:10:50] that's a fair answer I think I would get along with me I don't know I think we would get along really well I think we could annoy each other because I sometimes

[00:11:04] annoy myself and I I know I can annoy other people and I'm not sure how much we'd get done productive wise you know what I mean like listen they're type A people I'm a B- you know

[00:11:18] so I don't know how well actually but oh all right maybe not super close but acquaintances yeah I'm very opinionated and I can go off the cuff and be a little judgmental and it takes a very strong minded person Teflon type of personality I think that could

[00:11:39] deal with that so right we'd be cool we'd be cool would be cool I like that okay so let's get into what we're talking about today which is well what we kind of said at the beginning

[00:11:52] 2024 is literally at this point two days away so we are talking about this episode what we're getting into is we're going to do maybe a highlight reel maybe the wins of 2023 not even the wins

[00:12:07] maybe lessons learned whatever just a highlight reel of 2023 and then our main topic we're going to talk about today is resolutions um friend or foe what do they look like why why not and

[00:12:23] then of course we get to check in some baggage and pick souvenirs does that sound good love it okay so let's get into it if you were gonna pick and I know it's been a long year and I

[00:12:33] do feel like time like they said just rewatch true detective so I don't know if you I love season one first season of it of course I watched the other ones but he always said

[00:12:44] time is a flat circle no flat surface that's what he said and I was like I'm sure if that's true but I also know and like the we live on the third dimension if you're on the fourth it would

[00:12:57] look like it wouldn't look like a sphere like it looks for us it would look like a circle right and I feel almost that way based on what we've mentioned earlier which is time is flying by

[00:13:11] I cannot believe we have entered we're about to enter in two days like 2024 Y2K was going to be 24 years ago um and I remember actually the new years before that because princes we're gonna party

[00:13:28] like this night yeah my parents had had like a party New Year's Eve by the way is my mom's birthday so we'll get into that right on on friend or foe on revolutions but so there was always

[00:13:44] like a celebration and that was just a big one and yeah RIP friends um who was also a jihua's witness I'm gonna see everyone is out I think I did so I guess could you give you could you don't

[00:13:59] have to do a whole highlight reel but what's a highlight for 2023 for you um I think when I chose to be less boy crazy and really when I chose to to stop forcing things just whether relationship career friendship family once I really chose to let things unfold organically

[00:14:27] my life got a lot lighter and um I would say even a little bit easier so that was a highlight because it catalysts so many other things um to happen such as you know I was able to recognize

[00:14:43] I wanted to change my career I ended some friendships that actually I guess just needed to end um I went to you know Beyonce concert by myself some of my friends were in the section but I

[00:15:00] I did a lot of things just solely with me in mind and I really saw a turning point in my my mental so highlight for sure do you know what was the catalyst that you were like I'm done

[00:15:13] yeah so I it was probably um it honestly started maybe January of 2023 but I just got so exhausted with a particular situation ship and just always feeling on eggshells like my

[00:15:35] nerve system just was constantly being rattled and I finally just said enough I need to take a break I need to put men on the back burner I need to just focus on me like I can take a couple of months

[00:15:55] to just not worry about them and wow what a difference that has been for sure and I still feel that way I just didn't know it would span the whole year not a crime especially if it was

[00:16:11] I mean hasn't been a while since you had not been like in the dating like in the talking to phase I I feel that I feel I don't even know if I was boy crazy versus I deeply wanted like

[00:16:27] I just didn't want to be solo dolo right like I could do solo dola I could do the friends but I was always also used to kind of having a significant other around you know yeah um I definitely

[00:16:39] will say I have always received a lot of male attention male validation um my entire teenage to 20s to 30s so I realized I was addicted it was an it was an addiction essentially

[00:16:58] um but now I will say I've been on dates I've talked to guys but I have no interest in forcing it I used to always look at men like let me see if I can get him to my to be my boyfriend let me

[00:17:13] he could he be Mr. Maybe and I did that with every man that I was interested in so this year obviously I've been approached and I went on dates but there is no urgency or desire to turn it into

[00:17:28] anything right and it could be a good thing because I feel like well it is a good thing right you just said it was I think it for me I feel like I did I started mine in July I started

[00:17:40] my just for me July right love it yes and um that is one of I will say one of the highlights on the highlight reel was starting the just for me July and it brought me um to a place that

[00:17:58] when I go out I go out to like dance and and be in community with my friends it's not for the male gaze it's not I want to get talked to I'm a Libra I love attention

[00:18:11] like let's not kid I'm not listeners thanks real right who doesn't some people don't actually but I do um but the attention it always just felt fleeting and kind of still does and it's okay with me

[00:18:31] because I just especially like if you are a new listener like hey I've now been officially married or divorced there we go divorced for a full year and I not love pause let me say I don't love

[00:18:50] divorce but I love that you were had enough courage to end something that wasn't working yes there you go I will say that like I'm not a fan of divorce guys if you're gonna get married

[00:19:02] I I'm not one of those people that say like make it work for the kids like nah right that was they didn't choose to be here um but I will say it's a very expensive endeavor even

[00:19:14] if you want to do it on the cheap unless you do do it on the cheap right it's a big investment and I don't think you should walk into it thinking I can leave it or I can get a divorce

[00:19:27] I never got married thinking that I would right so it was a it was a discovery year because I had already been separated right for a year prior to that so it was like a double

[00:19:40] discovery year but I can say that after being married and then now going back out on these tragic streets and then deciding after I did that that it was going to be a just for me

[00:19:53] I just now I I know how to nurture myself and I know how I want to be nurtured and loved and cared for and I just I am just not going to compromise on that and I just feel like right now

[00:20:12] I don't I'm I'm not even really seeking that and I think that's kind of what it is they say like it's when you're not looking I'm not looking I'm not running but I am finding like contentment

[00:20:24] with myself and I think that's a win yeah I will say and obviously you know we can move on but I will say I kind of stopped even for me personally stops looking at like the dating

[00:20:37] streets and all that stuff negatively I just had to stop internalizing other people's feelings I had to stop internalizing them because you know once I really showed up again as my true self I realized that they're just going to be some people that like you and don't

[00:20:57] and I was comfortable with that so I really got comfortable with just people feeling how they wanted to feel and it I never I don't really look at the dating scene as bad or anything I just know that

[00:21:11] if I show up as my true self they're going to be people who aren't going to like it and I'm okay with it and for a listener that was like is saying damn I'm really trying to get there

[00:21:22] if you could give them one step to doing that what would that look like um I would say the first step would be to accept truly that life cannot be lived without offense and I think that really was

[00:21:37] kind of the without offense yes without a no offense like offensiveness like a you know offense okay okay okay okay yeah ff ense yeah en si the offense yeah offense sorry got it so um life cannot be lived without offense and

[00:22:03] if you really accept and understand that people are going to offend you people are going to hurt your feelings people are going to be selfish you don't internalize it so much

[00:22:13] you just understand that's the way of the world it's bound to happen and I think it just gives you a tougher you know layer of skin so that would be the the the biggest thing except that

[00:22:25] offense is going to happen it just is I like it I like it that's a good highlight that's a good 2023 highlight I would say for me hmm I think really I did a lot of bound I put up a lot

[00:22:39] of boundaries for myself starting early last year because I just you know family friends not and I also changed some friend circles right had to keep some had to some ended right

[00:22:58] they were seasons right I think that this year I made myself get outside because I had become kind of like reclusive and I feel like after um COVID-19 like I also lived in Florida right like I ran

[00:23:19] let's be honest I ran my marriage and because it was just a bad bad situation a toxic unhealthy situation and my brother was in Florida so when I came back to Dallas it was literally like

[00:23:34] brand new brand new right new last name still but I had never gotten an apartment before like I had never gotten an apartment before I had never I bought all new furniture right like I

[00:23:49] like decorated you know what I mean like it was just mine and yeah my life was is mine and that is such a big highlight for 2023 because even through just oh my gosh right there were so many

[00:24:06] good moments and I think also kind of I'm at more of like an acceptance stage I'm like grieving my mom passing because that happened right bright in 2020 and it always feels like it could

[00:24:19] it's three years now but it feels like yesterday right yes but I was able to talk about it more you know and talk about my mom or talk about my family more um and accept that hey you don't

[00:24:35] pick you don't pick your family because I feel like bless them love them hot mess um and that I could kind of build build a community I joined a meetup group I then became a leader of

[00:24:49] this group and a host and did all these things dealt with that I mean I had thought I had not seen like mean girl behavior but I got a rude awakening however that led to starting you know another

[00:25:02] group and it's thriving right now so it made me break out of my shell and accept also like my quirks like I feel like I'm a really good master um but I don't want to mask anymore like yeah I sing

[00:25:17] talk because that helps me stay on I just have my own quirks right I used to feel weird not weird but kind of like I'm like not super shared that I was like a neuro spicy person right like I

[00:25:32] didn't want people to know like hey you have to take medication for that like I wasn't like I felt that there was kind of a shame with that and I feel like in 2023 I really left

[00:25:43] that behind and like realized like if a person has to take like if a person is diabetic they take that insulin I take my medication because it helps me be like a functional person so I think it was um

[00:25:55] I got to put the spotlight actually on me which it hadn't been in I don't know how long and it's been lovely that's awesome there I read this saying and it stuck with me I think I read it in about

[00:26:07] July but it says God won't bless the person you pretend to be and so I think what you're saying I know right it's stuck and I think it's gonna stay with me forever so my kids can learn it but

[00:26:21] I think that's what I hear when you you know shared that with me owning your quirks and accepting them because that's who we were designed to be and you know if you try to mask it or you try to

[00:26:33] pretend it's only it's gonna make you sick not being who you are so um yeah that's really cool to hear and I'm proud of you for that well thank you yeah okay listeners we're gonna take a quick

[00:26:46] break and we will be right back hey listeners welcome back to baggage claim I am here with the beautiful Bridget Stanley hello and we're talking about year-end things because in two days

[00:27:02] it will be 2024 and I feel like for the world I'm sure it feels like a lot and I feel like for some people you know you ever think like holy crap that was like the worst year of my life

[00:27:16] right I have had those I feel blessed and honored that this year was not one of them right right but if you are having kind of a rough one in 2023 joy does come in the morning and this too shall pass

[00:27:33] and I just I know it may sound freaking ridiculous but you made it this far and in two days it's in 20 we're in 2024 and I'm proud of you for all of that I just went on and like soapbox I'm sorry hey

[00:27:49] that was great I think that's very relatable um there are some people like 2023 wasn't a it was a good year for me as well but I had a friend previously in 2022 that had a really

[00:28:02] rough year and she needed that exact affirmation and she had a she went on and had a great 2023 so you never know who that's going to touch it's going to be all right y'all i'm going to make it any

[00:28:14] other highlights and if we can go semi we could do a quick what if you would say pop culture or things that were like bam 2023 could you that just step that there was just like wow yeah I

[00:28:29] honestly Beyonce Renaissance um I know that happened 2023 but the concert definitely took place in this year to see so many people feel liberated and inspired and got into the movement and and all

[00:28:47] of the chrome and the silver and just the the energy that took place um actually I will walk that back I'll say Beyonce mixed with Taylor Swift mixed with Barbie it was women dominating

[00:29:01] pop culture all 2023 and um that was awesome to see I feel like yes Renaissance the whole time you were talking two things just kept flashing in my mind one was look around everybody on you right

[00:29:19] like that and then the and I'm gonna hop into another highlight she ain't no diva you know I have literally been saying that I'm like she ain't no diva but she ain't no diva

[00:29:34] and I want to thank because you know how like in 2020 2021 TikTok and Instagram it was very choreographed right a lot of movement I can I just give a shout out uh for 2023 to the creators the people making videos the people putting these slides together like bravo bravo and

[00:29:53] Botox like I thank you for finding these tweets and collecting them I thank you creators and I'm not gonna say influencers because that's not who I am scrolling to see honestly it is the creators

[00:30:07] it could be funny it could be deep it could be historical whatever it is I appreciate it because the girl I cannot think of her name right now but who did the she ain't no diva

[00:30:18] yes I mean I love her and she even on bad days these creators would like crack the up you know what I mean like the fun like I appreciate you being regular people that also

[00:30:33] are very creative and plus just with videos and throw that out there that's absolutely definite loot like mood lighteners they I mean they probably helped a lot of people stop from crying and you know they kept friendships going right so um yeah the the content creators of 2023

[00:30:55] you did your thing and we I cannot wait to see what you come up with in 2024 but you have put so many midnight belly laughs yes out there for the universe I can dig it right I thank you and also

[00:31:11] just to the another highlight to the highly unserious people that we live within the world because there is a thread that I saw and you're like what happened this year where the carly Russell remember who was kidnapped but she wasn't oh yeah yeah the response the response

[00:31:35] and the humor I mean because after we got got right it's like if you're not gonna cry about it you've got to kind of laugh about it and the humor and the tweets I mean thank you just for absolutely

[00:31:51] bringing like tears to my eyes on certain things same with the was it the Montgomery bra I mean that the jokes just couldn't stop it was I mean you need people like that who can

[00:32:08] just pull out of nowhere and you're like I'm crying and I feel guilty but I can't stop the Titan submersive yes yes I mean there was a lot of things that went down and honestly had

[00:32:22] not these people with these random people all over the place right like I don't know their names but I know they brought me joy the reenactment the all of them and then you were like the internet can't

[00:32:34] be defeated it just can't another highlight okay now let's get into like the meat and potatoes or if you're a vegan or vegetarian besides okay you know I went pescatarian once I could do it again

[00:32:49] okay since uh 2024s around the corner everyone has like or not everyone let's talk about new year's resolutions right people do them I used to do them I can understand why but let's get into

[00:33:04] why or why not you do new year's resolution I actually stopped I think 2022 yeah it's I'm not a big fan of them for me personally I think it's too high like they can be too um what's the word too far

[00:33:24] out in planning and it takes for me it takes away some of the the organicness the unfolding of life it takes some of that away from me so I kind of stopped and I never really kept my resolution

[00:33:37] so either I don't think I really I don't know if I ever did I don't do them because New Year's Eve is my mom's birthday and it I don't I don't celebrate it differently I'm honestly rushing

[00:33:50] to January 1st and maybe at some point that'll change but it also kind of changed how I like celebrate and how I like move on into the next year because I don't want to run into

[00:34:04] the following year kind of like broken or like you know running away from another one so instead of like resolutions I feel like I make like like one usually one or two promises I make one to you

[00:34:17] know my mom and I make one to myself right like and they're not ones like lose 10 pounds or quit vaping crying so hard okay um I got my my cough drop nicotine thing I'm I'm trying but I feel

[00:34:34] like they are ones that are like like last year it was courage right like be brave and I feel like I was brave this year you know and I feel like my the promises that I make are you know

[00:34:50] I just want to be like a decent person and then depending on I never really plan ahead what I'm gonna say or what promise I'm gonna make I just kind of do it when the clock strikes if I'm away

[00:35:02] yeah so I'm usually at home yeah that's definitely you know you know losing a parent or a spouse or losing anyone um on a major holiday I have not experienced that yet and I say yet because I

[00:35:16] don't know what's gonna you know unfold for me but I could definitely see how it changes the way you celebrate and changes what you think about the new year or you know so that that's interesting

[00:35:30] but I really like that you make a promise to your mom and yourself that that's really that's a really great way to to look at you know celebrating the new year for me I kind of

[00:35:44] I kind of me being a writer and kind of a little bit of a storyteller I like to look at my life as a story so the only thing I really said for 2024 was I just want to you know continue the follow-up

[00:36:00] you know just follow up to what I started in 2023 and I feel like that just gives me so much grace to make mistakes yeah you know and and really just know the core values of I need to

[00:36:15] take care of myself first I need to be authentic to me and the rest of the lessons will come as they come you know so that's really cool that you make a promise I think I'll look into seeing

[00:36:28] how I what promise could I make to myself going into 2024 right I'm trying to think of think of because I usually do them on the spot I can make a commitment to my listeners that I love

[00:36:41] this podcast and I'm committed to this Baggage Plain podcast for 2024 but that is a commitment that the promise I'm making to myself I need them they have to only like for me it has to be

[00:36:55] like internally tangible right yeah so I feel like for 2024 I think you know I really want to learn like I feel like you know every day we're learning but I really want to be almost like a sponge

[00:37:15] of like receiving like I don't want to hear to respond I want to hear to receive I want to be you know a sponge and like absorb it because my my memory is trash but I think that it's something

[00:37:32] that if in order for me to be that sponge to be the student of the world right there are things that like I have to like let go of you know and like a big distraction for me is my cell phone

[00:37:45] like it is my kryptonite but I think that if I can promise you know to be like a student of the world right because I call myself a global citizen okay I don't believe in borders they're manmade

[00:37:59] they're made up but I want to make sure that in all of these experiences because my life is dramatically about to change you know that I want to I don't want to you know I don't even

[00:38:13] lead it with the negative right that's why I'm like the promises I think for me is like to be a student you know be an apprentice of the world and leave the ideals that I have here right especially

[00:38:26] in the states like behind you know they can still be with me but I there's room for more yeah you know I realized for me when it comes to resolutions I think a lot of times resolutions

[00:38:42] in some ways subconsciously are ways for us to beat ourselves up oh you know I want to read 10 books this year or like you said I want to lose 10 pounds or I want to you know I want to get back into the

[00:38:56] church more whatever it is subconsciously you're looking at the wrongs right where you did into the year before and now you want to over correct them and over you know and and fix them I think

[00:39:10] that leads me to my most disappointment because in that way I'm still not being honest with myself right I love reading I'm gonna read when it feels organic to me I'm gonna if I find a great book

[00:39:25] that I want to read non-stop then I'm gonna read it and I'm gonna complete it and that should be as much as of an accomplishment I've done the weight loss resolutions yes so much

[00:39:38] and I have hated my body every year that I've done so I just make it a goal to just try to move your body a little bit a couple of times a week if you can and and I end up over doing it that way because

[00:39:54] I'm not setting a bar so high that that's rooted in disappointment so sometimes like resolutions if you have the positive mindset where you know it's just a added layer on to what you've already

[00:40:09] learned cool that's great but I really challenge the listeners here figure out are your resolutions rooted in you not feeling good about yourself and if so maybe you try a different approach maybe you

[00:40:24] don't you know set so high of an expectation where you end up disappointing yourself all year long you know right yes I think that your resolution it needs if it's like a if it's like

[00:40:39] I want to lose 10 pounds if it's something like that like those can be goals right like those can be you know I feel like the reason I really pause on resolutions right is because I

[00:40:54] the year that I had made like my resolutions right so that my mom's birthday and my mom has away on January 18 and my year had was not that year anymore right like everything that I it was

[00:41:08] just it was a lot right devastating and when I switched it to like a promise it was because this promise I feel like you keep your promises but I made it to where it was something that

[00:41:23] if I was looking for sanctuary I think it would be in that promise and so I think for the listeners like consider that whatever if it's a resolution or anything that let it be

[00:41:36] a sanctuary that that is why you were wanting to do it it's not because you want to change something you know it's because in that change what leads to a place that you want to be

[00:41:48] your paradise your safe space and I feel like other resolutions will lead me because I feel like I'm my harshest critic man I my my self-talk has improved but my gosh I can be very hard on myself

[00:42:01] and I feel like I'm looking sometimes I'll be kind of looking for if I can't control the things around around me in certain ways then I'll look it'll go inward and then I'll lead to well

[00:42:14] you were supposed to do this and you were supposed to do that and I feel like it is really good to have like a routine and and have kind of a plan but I'm not a type A person I'm not a type I'm a I'm a B-

[00:42:28] minus okay I'm you know I like to say I'm fluid and I also feel like I can like detach like I can literally go into I always forget this word and it'll come to me disassociate

[00:42:44] right so I could do that to where I can kind of like numb out like if I feel like I'm not even going to make this resolution I'm not even going to make this goal I'll just numb out and then

[00:42:54] just stop doing it and I feel like that's not a way that's not a way to live I feel like you're like enslaving yourself so when you make a resolution like it needs to be a sanctuary it

[00:43:06] doesn't need to it can't be a prison and that's what I I would say yeah I look at resolutions to me I'm very anti self-help I'm a fan or foe foe right oh for me I'm very anti self-help

[00:43:24] I just there's something about it to me that feels like I'm you're always treating yourself like a project you know like you you you're on this home improvement project you're always trying to improve and prove and prove and I think we really discredit the state of just being

[00:43:44] yeah and um you know the not doing resolutions really just has taught me to just be and accept curveballs and be comfortable throwing a few back but I think for me resolutions I I'm just I'm so turned off and um I've really seen a difference

[00:44:11] with just my mental because I'm not measuring myself up to anybody anything any specific you know I need to do this I'm just kind of letting life carry me to the next step and how I

[00:44:24] react is how I react I like that I think you gotta I know people are like go with the flow what does that mean stoner and I'm like I feel like sometimes you've got to just go with it I mean I feel like

[00:44:36] this year I think was very much me still trying to like control everything right which it's just kind of like my nature but as this year has progressed and I've learned a lot you

[00:44:52] know about myself and you know let go of things accepted things and understood myself so much better I feel like without interruptions or like the yapping around me that going into this like

[00:45:06] upcoming year I don't really like I don't really need a resolution right like I it's the revolution actually like that's kind of how I feel I feel very much like I see things clearly now and it's a good

[00:45:22] thing I think it's an affirming thing I think especially feeling like because for me I am I really like it's me and my pups like I have family I have a brother but he doesn't live here

[00:45:32] it's been like I always I felt like relied on like certain people right I did have like these staples in my life and then honestly in a year they were all not there and so it was kind of

[00:45:46] it was a big gut punch and it was so crippling and all these things but like right now I'm feeling very I'm feeling very gypsy ropes I'm feeling very free I'm feeling like I can I'm just excited

[00:45:59] to see Yana honestly what happens I think that's what it is I think also now I know that like it does get better like it to this too shall pass I feel like kind of in everything before

[00:46:14] I had I could catastrophize you know even if it was like a little thing even if it was like I don't know even an outfit thing I feel like I've got to get this outfit it's got to have this look like

[00:46:24] I do like my certain looks and I can have an appreciation like for detail and how I want certain things to go but if they don't go that way like I just don't I can't catastrophize it like there are

[00:46:38] bigger things there we've got bigger fish to fry like let it go and just move on and like I also like have this deep I feel like faith and understanding that it is going to be okay like

[00:46:50] there are things planned for you and you've got to just trust trust yourself and for the people around you that you realize you can trust like appreciate that them nurture them and like grow

[00:47:05] with them I love that I think that's pretty awesome heck yeah okay so we got to our resolutions let's get to um what are we checking in what are we checking in on this episode yeah I've got it for you

[00:47:16] okay show me how you what what you have in mind so give me an example and that'll give me something to work with okay something that I am leaving behind in 2023 my addiction to my phone

[00:47:31] and I have literally found a support group I got a phone lockbox because I'm doing the things to help me I'm not perfect I don't think it's going to go perfectly but my shackle to scrolling

[00:47:46] on this device I'm leaving that in 2023 and that's on that um I left my career in marketing where I put it on pause on pause you're just on pause right you have to do it let me know I've put it on pause

[00:48:09] to see what I can do with my other talents so I am putting my fall black I'm checking in my fallback plan I'm checking in my safety net and I am going to see what my ideas and my dreams and my desires

[00:48:26] where that can can take me so I think that's what I'm I'm leaving in 2023 I think you're going to kill it because my description was like my phone and you gave a whole picture and you're

[00:48:40] really good at storytelling and I think it's gonna you're gonna thrive but I love that I feel like I just left my corporate job right I'm leaning into this podcast and also leaning in to a new life

[00:48:54] overseas which I'll still be doing my show and still be popping in and having guests and it's gonna be amazing but I feel like I'm leaving behind a safety net and uh and um I don't have a fallback

[00:49:08] back plan I really don't so it's it's literally get on this plane yeah think about the girls think about the girls showbie and dolly showbie and dolly oh my goodness

[00:49:20] you need to find out the context of that but yeah that's that's gonna be an awesome adventure for you and I think it'll be an awesome adventure for all of our listeners whatever

[00:49:31] like your listeners whatever you're you know checking in it doesn't have to it can be you know something tangible and tangible I the the catalyst of you know my life last year stopped forcing things has really led me to you know a whole another like perception of life

[00:49:52] like I only get one of these you wait no seriously I only get one time to live as Bridget Stanley wow so you know it kind of gives you a kick in the pants so you know I've done marketing for 10

[00:50:07] years and I'm really good at it and I you know but I have so many other talents and things that I want to do with my creativity but I will never even try if I'm always leaning on you know that

[00:50:24] safety so nervous but it'll be good I think you're gonna thrive I feel it in the air I feel it because I think if you have courage it's gonna do it and you do you already you did it I can

[00:50:39] again let's go I'm just saying and I think I think you're gonna be amazing I feel like I feel like I'm living on a prayer like I feel like the song I think before would be like so anxious that

[00:50:50] I'd be like I can't I've got to find another way like I've got to find I can't like leave my job yet right because I'm not going for you know a couple more months but I didn't want to stay

[00:51:01] anymore I had I think I mean affirmations guys speak things into existence because I remember telling my therapist like six months ago or something I was like I do know for sure that I will not

[00:51:17] start the new year doing what I'm doing now because I'm not fulfilled and I want to be doing something else and there it is it's already happened so I feel like trusting I

[00:51:30] I guess for a souvenir then we'll get into our souvenirs before we close out and do like final thought I feel like a suit I have a few souvenirs actually I think this is going to be a carry

[00:51:40] on souvenir right I am bringing with me courage I had always wanted to have my own podcast and I do actually I was I thought I guys I'm pretty sure there are more podcasts called baggage

[00:51:54] claims so if you're listening to this one thank you I really appreciate you you're the best you're the greatest but I wanted to do this and I was like why not me right I think asking

[00:52:07] not like why you shouldn't all of these things I was like go for it and I did and so this souvenir is and one for the listeners is if there's something you really want to do like I don't know

[00:52:19] if this thing is going to be big I don't know what this thing what this podcast is going to look like in the future I have hopes and aspirations for it that it will be something that is a staple

[00:52:29] in people's lives but I am so happy that I just tried and I feel like that's the souvenir again courage which was my word for you know but that's something I'm bringing with me

[00:52:40] just going for it because I was always kind of a not necessarily wallflower but I didn't actually like I wasn't going to speak I wasn't going to like raise my hand or like volunteer on my own

[00:52:53] creativity I had my own doubts and this has brought me so much joy that that's a souvenir that I'm taking with me and also that I love being an advocate and standing up for the the global

[00:53:06] community and my advocacy has been reignited I feel galvanized and that's never going to leave my bite and intention for liberation for the world so I'm taking that with me as a souvenir that's

[00:53:18] what about you um those are really awesome and very powerful I would say the first one I'm taking with me my first souvenir is um continuing to um deprioritize my addiction to men

[00:53:37] that I mean I have a long history and that's another episode for another day but that has given me so much more clarity and room to think about other things such as am I happy

[00:53:49] with my career where do I want to still live here whatever but just knocking I feel like I worshiped and and idolized them a lot and so um just deprioritizing them I'm taking that with me

[00:54:05] because I've seen nothing but great things secondly my favorite Kim Kardashian said this but too much advice can be bad advice so um for me really learning to stop treating my life like

[00:54:21] it's a democracy I don't need a board of directors or CEOs or executives to to help me find a plan I think that was because I wasn't trusting myself and listening to my own intuition

[00:54:36] so that's coming with me because again I have seen so much growth and a peace of mind when I stopped asking people for their advice yeah yeah I love that I love that well I'm excited

[00:54:53] to walk into 2024 I'm so happy that I met you and that we clicked and that um we can see each other's triumphs and and if we suck and fall we can see we can pick each other up and I

[00:55:06] I think that's super important guys that I think that's another thing community if that if you want a resolution maybe build a community because you've got to lean on you can't carry it all

[00:55:19] and building a community a healthy one is one that lasts a lifetime so yeah um Bridget where can well any final thoughts before we close out this was very awesome to share with you like I said

[00:55:34] you know Lauren you have been a great person um to meet in 2023 I'm so proud of you and your podcast and even in our private talks you have given me you know so much I get you've been a

[00:55:49] cheerleader for some of the dreams and things that I've discussed and you have liked me organically me showing up as who I am so I'm very appreciative of you I'm very appreciative of all

[00:56:02] the lessons that I've received all the mistakes that I've made um I'm proud of those two and if you want to find me you're more than welcome I'm on Instagram um Bridget Stanley BRI GETTE

[00:56:18] traditional spelling for Stanley and I will be there well thank you so much like I feel like aww that was so sweet you're a treasure I'm so happy I met you you guys you know where to

[00:56:28] find me on Instagram it's um check in your baggage you can go to my website which is check your bags and my my TikTok is check in your bags because baggage claim was taken as always I like to say

[00:56:42] on this podcast everyone has baggage it can be positive it could be negative it could just be something you're carrying around and the gift of each day is you can choose what you carry

[00:56:53] some things you can put down thank you as always for listening please like share and review this podcast and happy new year I'll talk to y'all in 2024 bye you guys bye thank you so much for joining Bridget

[00:57:27] hey listeners are you still there I just wanted to throw out there that if we're listening to this in January hello 2024 and if you're closing out 2023 I really hope that it's magical

[00:57:42] as always I think that we should like Michael Jackson said look at the man in the mirror what's happening around the globe I know it could be easy to ignore especially if you're

[00:57:54] in the states but what's happening is a tragedy and it's a genocide and every voice is needed every post is needed every just thoughts love and action is needed right now we only have one

[00:58:10] planet that we can live on and we have to figure out a way to live on it together anyway as always happy new year and thank you for listening to baggage claim